![]() You expect her to be respectful of others who have to get up early and arrive quietly. You expect her to follow the check-in rule. You expect a call if your child is delayed because of traffic. Homework must be completed and she must get enough sleep to focus in school and manage stress. Any time is too late if it interferes with schoolwork. Curfew works best when the expectations and consequences are clearly spelled out ahead of time.“Are you kidding!! She smells me when I get home!” It will give you peace of mind she’s home safe and give her a face-saving “out” to avoid drinking or drugs. Enforce ‘the check-in rule ” that requires her to say good night when she comes in, even if that means waking you.Knowing other parents and discussing common rules comes in handy here. Consider whether your teen’s friends live nearby? Does he have a weekend job? You’ll be on the defensive if your child’s curfew is earlier than his close friends. Your comfort level, your teen’s comfort level, and the safety of your community should all be part of the discussion. Remember, a curfew is a tool to keep your child healthy, productive, and safe. A good starting point is to ask your teen what she thinks a reasonable curfew should be.You want your teen to make smart decisions himself, rather than depend on someone else telling him what to do. A flexible curfew, particularly in the last year of high school, allows a teen to prepare for college life, where it’ll be his decision when to head home. That’s not to say that the agreed-upon curfew is open to interpretation- tonight’s 11 o’clock curfew is 11 o’clock not 11:30- but that you give permission ahead of time to stretch the usual curfew on a special night because he’s proven he routinely gets home on time. Flexibility encourages a teen to demonstrate responsibility in exchange for expanded privileges. Some parents prefer a set curfew, while others prefer to vary curfew decisions by the circumstances: One night 10:30 makes sense another night, midnight is acceptable. ![]() “How late can I stay out?” becomes a recurring question for teens.Does he allow enough time to get home? Is he waiting where promised when you pick him up? Does he call if something unforeseen comes up? But allow curfew to give you a chance to see how he handles responsibility. First, reinforce the importance of adequate sleep for school and sports performance. In middle school, adolescents start staying later at friends’ houses.Getting your younger child in the routine of being in at 5 or turning his lights out at 10 allows him to experience structure.You need to respond “I love you, I care about you, I want to help keep you safe.” Getting Used to Curfews Your teen may push back with “ I’m the only kid who has to be in at 11” (probably not true, but don’t go there). A curfew is a reflection of your concern for your child’s safety and well being, so present it as such. Adolescents are programmed to hate curfew because they think it’s about control or trust.
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